Elusive Love by Dr. Juan Harrison
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Any relationship that endures has survived as party of the first part has found a way to accept or overlook those irritating behaviors or traits that party of the second part possesses; same goes for party number two being able to love number one in spite of pet peeves and frequent irritations.
Sometimes it may come down to simply being a matter of space and time; give the other person some space and time away from you. As the years go by, some of that initial snuggling and desiring to be close and together may decrease at times. Wise men often learn that Sweetie may prefer some time alone rather than you know what. Maybe she just wants to watch Wheel of Fortune or a Lifetime movie without being interrupted by, “Honey, do you know where you put my whatchamacallit?”
Most of us like ice cream, just not all the time. Stress, hormones, and female propensity to change their minds keep things interesting. Saturday night I can hang my outfit on the doorknob as I choose between my only two pairs of shoes. Sunday morning I don’t have to think about what to wear to church. I’ve already shaved, so Sunday morning is simple. I don’t even want to consider what’s going through my better half’s brain.
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Like most other couples you try to avoid the cow patties and land mines out there. Don’t talk about her relatives and don’t look when she’s on the bathroom scales. As a school principal I used to ask my little yahoos and jaybirds if they wanted to go get a hammer. They’d look at me strangely until I told them they might as well go hit their thumb. They’d say that was dumb, and I’d agree. Then I’d explain that their bad behavior was just about as dumb a decision. Why choose to hurt yourself. Likewise, after the two of us in a relationship have become one as described in the Bible, why would we intentionally want to hurt this union we’ve created. As a boy, when draft horse Jim would pull one way and Coalie pulled the other, nothing was gonna get done but some crooked rows.
Sometimes it’s for a season; sometimes it is what it is until death do us part. Sometimes we just don’t want to or need to be around each other. It’s probably better not to interrogate or play twenty questions. That’s about the time I probably need to go outside and pick up a few leaves, or she needs to find an excuse to run to the dollar store. Don’t know if I know what love is after almost 50 years of matrimony. I know it’s something to be valued. Sometimes it’s elusive, hard to find. Still, when that feeling stirs within me, I’m glad it’s there. I hope she feels it too. There she is now at the garage door ready to share a banana split. Love is sweet with a cherry on top.
By Dr. Juan Harrison
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