Fairness By Dr. Juan Harrison

In Texas we have a saying about something not being fair.  They say if you want fair you need to go to Dallas in October.  They have a big one there.  Nobody likes the feeling that they’re not getting a fair shake.

Over the years you may have seen your parents treat one child differently or better than another.  Maybe you experienced a class where a teacher seemed to have her favorites.  Some of you may have felt unfairly treated on a job as you were passed over for promotion.

Much of life might not be changed very much as we try to battle some situations where we don’t seem to have much power or influence.  One area where we can make a bigger difference is in our marriage and in our homes.

Most things in our lives boil down to a series of small events that help to set the tone or the atmosphere for the whole.  My wife and I were heating up leftovers from our Easter family lunch.  A small baggie of turkey slices remained.  I got to the fridge first.  I spied the baggie and thought I could eat it all since there wasn’t that much.  However, fifty years of sharing helped me to split it up and fill up on something else.  It dawned on me that I had just summarized our 50 years together.  People who have been blessed to be a part of a relationship for half a century or so will tell you the more each partner makes an effort to help make the other partner feel they are being treated fairly in a relationship, the better the quality of it and its chances of survival.

Fairness in marriage seems to cover almost every area of your lives.  Demanding one’s way constantly can severely damage or kill a love in a marriage to the point that you’re simply going through the motions.  Sometimes it’s how much each person wants to spend on luxuries rather than necessities.  Some partners struggle with household duties where one person seems to bear the brunt of the burden while both folks have outside jobs.  Wise men know to pitch in so that both partners can finally get to rest. Some folks in second marriages face challenges as each partner may struggle with issues involving not showing favoritism with money and time toward each one’s children and the stepchildren.

Fairness affects all areas of married folks’ lives.  Multiple marriages make things even tougher and more complicated as partners try to find balance in their marriages and relationships so that each one can experience that feeling of true love demonstrated as fairness in the relationship.

 By Dr. Juan Harrison