Ant Bites by Dr. Juan Harrison
Riley my sprinkler man stopped by to look at an issue with the sprinklers in the beds. Before you know it he and I have been attacked on the feet by some fiery ants and maybe their spouses and cousins. The stinging is bad and those little white pimples popping up soon thereafter aren’t a lot of fun either.
Over the years I’ve reminded us that a whole lot of our pain is self-inflicted. Stand in a flowerbed very long, and you’re likely to be ant bait. You know better but we get careless and forget. So many of our problems with fellow humans often come from mental laziness or just not giving a rip about the repercussions from our actions. Those fire ant bites, wasp zingers, and scorpion stings will physically go away. The ones that hit the heart not so much.
I’ve repeated over time that some of the greatest difficulties we face in life are of our own making. Whether it’s raising kids or staying married, things we do or don’t do can have a lot to do with how difficult or how rewarding the journey is.
Most couples finally splitting the sheets will tell you it wasn’t infidelity or even having enough money to renovate the kitchen that finally broke the camel’s back. It was the huge stack of straw, one piece at a time, laid on top of a wounded heart in need of some care. Most wives would always like to have something new or make a few changes in the décor, but they’re not usually deal breakers. What can suck out the life from a spouse or a marriage is those frequent little barbs of criticism, little stings of nagging, often followed by a lack of verbal appreciation and recognition for the role they play in keeping the train on the track.
You can cook up some stew without the proper seasoning and it’s barely edible. Flavor it right and you’re the Hopkins County Stew Championship winner. When we do and say things to others we’re supposed to love, when we wouldn’t dare do that to an outsider because we feel we have a license to do so, that ain’t smart. It may be legal, but we’re going to pay a price. Early on in our relationship with spouses and kids we get reaction from them that tell us how to treat them. If we’re dumb enough to ignore it, sobeit.
Divorce and separation from our children are sores that never heal. Sometimes people just get their fill and say adios. Maybe just a little more thoughtful observation could help some couples to try a little harder to stay out of the ant bed of feelings and keep that relationship we once cherished so much.
By Dr. Juan Harrison
