Close

Recent Posts

Archives

What Ifs, Ands, and Buts by Dr. Juan Harrison

What Ifs, Ands, and Buts by Dr. Juan Harrison
  • PublishedMay 17, 2023


A lot of people may have taken a circuitous route to true love.  The country song “God Bless the Broken Road That Brought Me Straight to You” may apply.  Seems like half the stories on the Hallmark Channel involve old loves reuniting after a number of years.  Unfortunately, everyday life isn’t often like television.

As a young military officer during the Vietnam era I had occasion to visit with young wives of men I commanded or of friends.  They told me of the struggle they had replacing their new spouse’s first partners.  Over the years I’ve noticed that most widow ladies chose not to remarry, but of those who did, a number who did remarry as elderly widows, they sometimes found tough sledding, even ending in divorce, as they faced issues with the new stepchildren fearful of someone getting Papa’s money.  I did hear one lady say she hadn’t actually met a saint until her new widower husband showed her a picture of his first wife.  Fitting into the late wife’s nearly perfect shoes sometimes can make your toes ache, not to mention an occasional heartburn.

I often mention Garth Brook’s song, “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers.”  God’s timing is perfect.  Early in my military days I met the girl of my dreams on a blind date after unknowingly seeing her picture in the base newspaper teaching gymnastics earlier.  Later I was offered a command in Europe or a teaching position for seven years at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Co where my son now serves as Gen X Pastor of Pikes Peak Christian Church.  At the time she offered to marry me if I took the AF Academy.  If not, no soap.  I understood.  Leaving mom and dad on the Canadian border for a new home in the Hunsruck Mts. Of Germany was a bridge too far for the small town girl.  I left her shortly after she was recovering from “benign” tumor surgery.  Soon thereafter she sent word she was ready to marry and now had become a Christian believer.  Fate intervened, benign became terminal, and God spared me.  Several years later I met my wife at a Ranger baseball game as I was pushing 30.

We all have old memories.  Some may be of spouses who have passed or earlier loves.  Anyone following them in our lives may find it a little difficult to fill the slot or measure up to sometimes an idealized or glorified memory of someone.  Sometime it works; sometimes not.

Reserving space for past loves that never materialized as we found others to spend a lifetime with can have a negative effect in the long term.  A person is better off to put that memory in a lock box and put away the key.  Then they can put all their emotions and energy into the current relationship.  A person isn’t likely to find a replacement for an old flame or a lifelong partner as perfect as we remember.  We can however, focus on the strengths and assets of the newer partner.  We’ve been blessed by one good love.  If life tells us it’s time to love again, may we keep our eyes wide open with no expectation of perfection, only the beginning of a new great adventure, different than imagined or experienced, but all the while helping us grow even more into a stronger person capable of giving and receiving more love than we thought possible.

By Dr. Juan Harrison

 

 

 



Written By
Tyler Lennon

Tyler Lennon is the sports editor for Front Porch News and Chad’s Media. Previously with the Sulphur Springs News-Telegram, Lennon has now covered sports in Hopkins County for four years. He also covers the Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Mavericks and Texas Rangers and has media credentials for both the Rangers and the Mavericks. On top of his writing, Lennon is also the lead play-by-play broadcaster for Chad’s Media. He has been the lead broadcaster for Sulphur Springs football, volleyball, basketball, softball, baseball and more. He is also the host of the sports talkshow Down & Out on Chad’s Media, along side Korey Hankins and Ryan Humphries. You can follow Down & Out on all social medias @Downandout903