Desirable Outcomes by Dr. Juan Harrison

I’m sitting at the kitchen table replying to comments from readers when out of the blue a hawk lands on my fence in front of me.  How cool is that.  It’s the middle of the Christmas hubbub.  You swear you’re going to cut back, but things happen.  This year a distant relative asked to bring along a 2, 3, and 5 year old they had taken in.  No problem, mon.  Mamaw got on the toy hotline and got em fixed up for the big night when they come to the family gathering.  In money terms it wasn’t much on top of the small fortune we swore to reduce as part of our New Year’s resolution.  Good luck with that.

Looking around inside and outside the house it feels like Christmas.  Some neighbors will barely acknowledge the holiday as hardly anyone darkens this door this season or just about any other.  I’ve reminded us often enough that what we invest in is what we get back.  Riches are relative.  After my wife’s mother passed, her dad and I went to Big Smith’s for a year for quail each week.  Us men grieve in a different way.  So what if it happens to taste good.  As he struggled to get through the reality of her not coming back, he responded, “I have all this money, and what good does it do me?”  He slapped my hand as I mischievously held it out.

I think of his house and all of the others that now may find themselves a lot quieter at this time of year than they used to be.  No amount of money lets you go online and order up some company to break the silence and loneliness that often accompanies it.  God said man was not meant to be alone.  When the helpmate is gone, it leaves a big hole.  There ain’t no amount of money available to plug that hole.

I’ve reminded us that being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely.  A worst lonely is the one when you’re living with someone and you still feel the bony fingers of isolation gripping your heart.  Accepting and loving yourself because He does goes a long way toward helping ease the loneliness when a partner departs.

If you have family and friends to help you share the holidays or any days, count yourself blessed.  To have a friend you must be a friend.  Giving of yourself freely and liberally will bring riches, real riches, coming back to your door.  Holding on to riches or keeping track of everything you “loan” to others is going to create some resentful people as they pluck at the strings you attach.  There is no room in the casket.  Better make it count while you’re here.  Scrooge had a happy ending.  In real life not necessarily so.  If we want that Norman Rockwell holiday feeling, we better do the things that matter starting in January-December.