Go Down Swinging by Dr. Juan Harrison

I’ve often said that no one else is responsible for our happiness.  Wise people will tell you that true happiness comes from serving others, including our spouses and families.  What so many newly widowed spouses find is the challenge of facing loneliness, especially at night.  Others tell me the weekends can be tolerable by being busy but find the weekdays may drag a bit.

They tell us happiness is a choice.  Some people just tend to be more optimistic and outgoing.  They have a knack or attitude of turning lemons into lemonade.  Others would starve to death as they drowned in a vat of Hershey’s chocolate.  You know the types who tend to be downers or pessimists.  They make you tired and cast a cloud of gloom over almost any situation.

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The key to you and your offspring surviving and flourishing in hard times is developing a mindset that realizes that hard times will come but do not have to be debilitating.  We can recognize a problem for what it is and start a game plan to deal with it.  Hand wringing is of no use.  Break the issue into parts and tackle it a bit at a time if the issue is too challenging to do it all at once.  Taking action rather than feeling defeated gives a person the energy to accomplish great things.  A defeated person helps no one.

The Bible says a cord of two or three is not easily broken.  There is strength in numbers.  The Bible says it is not good for man to live alone.  When our spouses are gone we often find out why.  Thankfully most women are able to survive with the help of a few close friends.  Most of the small handful of widowers fail to build up good relationships with even one good friend.  Seems like we spend more time on work or hobbies than communication with members of our own gender.  Maybe it’s a gift the female gender has been given that passed the men by.

Loneliness can occur in a room of full of people.  More and more of our people, especially the youngers, are finding themselves spending less physical actual time with others as they operate their phones and ipads.  They miss the eye contact and physical touch of in-person visiting.  It may be an okay substitute, but nothing replaces the real communication of a real live person telling you in body language what words couldn’t say.  It almost seems like a losing battle as technology seems to take over more control of our lives.  As Dylan Thomas said, “Do not go gentle into that dark night.”  Fight the good fight, even if you have to do it with a short stick.