All the Right Places
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Johnny Lee sang, “Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places.” He bought a ranch nearby and hung out at the Red Barn Café for a while before moving on. Over the years I’ve told you that nobody but you can make yourself happy. We’ve watched the famous and the infamous seek the limelight only to see it dim in time. You and I are watching a world gone crazy trying to find a few moments of happiness. Worse yet, like Johnny Lee, they keep looking in all the wrong places, coming up short in the end.
They tell us that happiness is a choice. Unfortunately a lot of our choices aren’t doing the trick. Here’s the deal; you’re starting in the wrong place. Trying to put all your Easter eggs into one basket as you’re searching for that perfect bunny to make all your dreams come true is not being fair to the bunny. Nobody can or should be responsible for making us happy. Happiness starts at your own front door.
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Sally Fields was quizzing James Garner in Murphy’s Romance about his relatively positive outlook on life, in particular his happiness with himself. When the widower was asked how he finally married, he said he was surprised to find somebody who felt the same way about him. That sounds egotistical, but if you ever noticed, people seem attracted to and are more comfortable around somebody we often say is comfortable in his own skin.
When a person is at peace with himself and is comfortable and accepting of herself, then they don’t have to spend a lot of time and energy trying to be somebody they’re not. You can use all that energy to help make others’ lives better; magically, you end up with more genuine friends and a rich fulfilling life. Wise insightful people can discern a fake from a gem. It’s hard to resist loving somebody who wants to put their energy and efforts into doing for others first.
A friend once thought she had found her Camelot and vending machine providing her whatever her heart desired. A lot of young people and some old ones make that mistake. In time she learned there ain’t no free money. Everything has a price. Eventually she got out of it and said she felt like she had gotten out of prison.
If we’re fortunate to live long enough we may get to experience what passes for genuine happiness on this earth. You can bet it didn’t happen by focusing on ourselves. Sooner or later if we’re lucky we find we’re happiest loving and doing for others. Trying to please self can be a lonely road. In the end we should have found love and happiness in all the right places.
By Dr. Juan Harrison
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