Ideally when people marry it’s designed to be a mutual admiration society. It’s intended for iron to sharpen iron. God said it was not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve as a helpmate. Together they would be able to help one another lift each other up in their journey to accomplish whatever goals and tasks He prepared for them.
Like just about everything else designed for mankind’s benefit, when humans get involved, things can go awry. Simply look at how the first couple on earth had a perfect setup and blew it. Eve thought only of herself and ended up causing grief for all mankind for perpetuity.
Later God grudgingly allowed divorce, but only for specific reasons. As usual man abused that to the tune of about a 50% failure rate. How did the train run off the track? Think about it. Take two entirely different personalities and put them in constant contact and see what happens. Sometimes it’s oil and water not mixing at all as evidenced by one third of all new marriages crashing and burning in the first five years.
If God designed it, it was meant to work. Again, what was meant to be the best vehicle He designed for our benefit found our human nature demanding our way trumping God’s will for our lives, hence divorce or dysfunctional marriages.
Sometimes it’s what we say or don’t say, or what we do or don’t do. Those unseen powers, principalities, and demons are working overtime to try and drive wedges between partners. Even believers forget that they better be calling on higher powers for help in this perpetual warfare.
Any relationship thrives when we think of the other’s welfare first. Wise couples who make it 40-70 years understand the importance of holding our tongues, thinking before we speak, and generally cutting the other half some slack. It’s not a contest to see who can hurt the other the most. The goal needs to be to build up and help strengthen and edify our partner. A wise person knows that if we put extra effort into helping the other person feel whole and fulfilled, then we will also get the maximum good from the marriage. Hopefully we can wise up and get to experience the blessings God intended.
By Dr. Juan Harrison