Buying Time
[adning id=”33097″]
Unlike Ozzie and Harriet most marriages hit rough patches of aggravation, poor communication, and general dislike. The longer you’re married the more likely you are to survive as a couple as you reason that you made it through the last cold spell, so maybe you’ll live to fight another day. I came to realize I would most likely keep being a source of aggravation, so I started thinking about how I could help offset my bad habits learned as a bachelor of 30 years. My hope was that maybe I could help her overlook my annoying ways and keep me around longer as my investment in our marriage grew. I didn’t want to lose the dividends it might pay in the future.
I started small by making the bed and dragging the wicker clothes hamper to the laundry room. Later I started putting the bathroom trash can into the hamper and dropping it off in the kitchen to empty it. Then I put the clothes in the washer or dryer and hung up her stuff as I put the rest of it away.
Some of you may say “mine does or did that.” Others may say “good luck with that.” It makes sense to me that anything I could do to give her a little extra free time might help her stop before she kills me and considers that she might not want to kill the goose, silly as it is, that might be helping her gain precious time in her hectic day. We agree; she cooks and I clean up.
Some days it’s simply putting a wet rag beneath my foot touching up the tile after taking out the trash. On school days in her Pre-K classroom in our den I get to be table cleaner offer and floor sweeper as she occupies herself with recess or a quick bite of lunch. I may find myself washing a few dishes or unloading the dishwasher. Maybe the cans in the pantry need straightening up, or it’s time to brew up another pitcher of tea. Maybe she needs my sagging muscles to open one more jar of pickles.
Thankfully, my wife willingly likes to shop. I just have to text her anything I can think of she needs to pick up. She provides the place for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Sunday school parties. She visits any shut-ins or ailing friends needing a meal or some cheering up. She keeps a full social calendar with her eight best friends.
Somewhere along the way like many of you we kinda found our place as we each took on roles and duties that helped one another get all the chores done as quickly as possible so that both of us can sit for a moment and say, “aah.” Hopefully, with so many wives working outside the home, common sense says that everyone benefits when the household chores are shared. Sometimes my outside work doesn’t let me do my part, but I do what I can, like taking off my work shoes at the garage door and checking the dryer for clothes before I head to the shower. I don’t deserve a medal for sharing the load. I just hope it buys a little mercy the next time I track dirt into the house.
By Dr. Juan Harrison
[adning id=”33207″]
[adning id=”33207″]
