Better Endings

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If you happen to run across the perfect family, let me know.  Most families have a skeleton or two in the closet.  Still, they keep fighting the dragon hoping to survive intact.  I don’t think most of em realize the good job they’re doing and what an important role they’re playing in society and American life in general.  Take a look around and see the impact broken and shattered homes are having on all facets of American life.

Everywhere you look casualties litter the landscape.  Research is telling us about the cost to our society of homes headed by single parents.  Common sense tells us that it’s hard for one adult to fill both roles.  My single mom did an admirable job raising five kids; I often wonder how much better job she could have done with a contributing partner’s help.

Constant money shortages hover like a buzzard in many single parent homes.  Forget making ends meet; you just hope to get em close enough to wave at each other.  The bottom line is that it is what it is.  When daddy or mommy leaves the family, everyone has to suck it up and do what you can to help hold the family together.  I mowed yards and took odd jobs to pay for my lunches.  Forget snack money.  I was just grateful for PB and jelly after school snacks at home.  You may not see it, but it’s hard to shake that feeling even going into adulthood of always feeling short on cash and being fearful of it causing a person to be caught in an embarrassing situation.

Schools may do their best, but children with learning and emotional issues often find their issues exacerbated by lack of resources or lack of time and attention from overwhelmed single parents just trying to survive on two jobs or overtime at the expense of family time.  Children feel stress whether they say so or not.  It may help initiate some issues or magnify others, whereas someone coming from a two parent, economically sound, involved parent household may feel better equipped to deal with their issues.

Children growing up in a traditional setting may even consider or realize what a valuable treasure they are a part of.  Two parents in a home do not guarantee goodness and light.  It does, however, make sense that the load can more easily be carried by two than by one.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.”

You can have two parents in the home, but it doesn’t guarantee everyone’s engaged and pulling their weight.  I learned early in life there are no guarantees on this earth.  Life is pretty much what you make it.  We have to make a habit of letting setbacks motivate us to be different, better, more victorious than the bad things that come into your life.  Excuses are simply excuses.  Maybe you didn’t have the greatest start in life; you can help produce a better ending.

By Dr. Juan Harrison

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