"Raw Talent" Again a Feature of
2nd Annual Veteran's Memorial Man Pageant

by: Bobby McDonald

"It's a blessing that this thing only comes around once a year!" exclaimed one patron to Saturday night's Man Pageant, in the Hopkins County Regional Civic Center, as they about "summed up" the event. "I don't think the community could stand seeing these men like this any more often!"

But, somehow, the pageant committee cajoled, begged, and threatened ten more men into participating in the 2nd Annual pageant, and things got underway on Saturday night. "It's great to see someone else in the 'hot seat,' this year," explained one of last year's contestants, who attended Saturday night. "I can enjoy it this year, when I'm not on stage!"

Ten of the most, awful, hairy-legged men, began the night with a Hip-Hop dance routine, that brought the crowd to their feet in a roar! "You've got to admit, they lacked some coordination," commented one unsuspecting patron. "Some of those guys certainly have two left feet!"

And, things got worse, as the night wore on!

In the talent segment of the contest, talents ranged from semi-serious to outright pathetic! We had Michael Jackson interpretations, Dolly Parton look-alikes, and a Latino skirt dance!

"And, these guys expected us to bid on their auction items?" exclaimed one attendee. "I think we were just bidding to get them off stage! But, it was all going to raise money for the Veteran's Memorial, so I guess you could rationalize the effort!"

"I really have a deeper appreciation for some of these guys, after seeing them in drag!" reported another Saturday night member of the audience. "However, I don't want to see them that way again!"

Qualified judges, many of them from out of town (that's a scary thought) tried their best to judge who was the best and would be named Mr. H.C. II. "It was definitely one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make!" exclaimed one judge, after the contest. "And, I don't know if we'll ever conduct such a contest in my hometown. I may have nightmares over this for a long, long time!"

When the scores were tabulated, it was "Aretha" Taylor, who was selected by "its" counterparts for the Mr. Congeniality Award. Then, the Dairy Festival Queen, the Fall Festival Cover Girl, and someone in a red dress, from last year's contest, made their way to the stage. They crowned, "Cinnamon" Humphries, 2nd Runner-Up, to the delight of the crowd. Then, in a hard decision, it was decided that "Diva" Graves, was to be 1st Runner-Up and wear the crown, if the actual "queen" was unable to fullfil the duties (Heaven Forbid).

Excitement built, and "Aretha" Taylor was absolutely speechless, when "she" was again announced the winner of the entire contest. "She" fell to her knees and had to be helped up by fellow contestants, as "she" was presented a trophy, roses, and the traditional  gold military helmet! "She" took her customary walk and then even had "her" photo taken with President Obama.

Following the contest, there was "much speculation" as to how "Aretha" won. Some said they suspected "she" knew people in high places, as "she" posed with both Obama and the Mayor of Sulphur Springs. Others, speculated it was the Michael Jackson interpretation during the talent segment (One will never know, just what gave her the edge)! But, it certainly wasn't BEAUTY!

Former Mayor, Oscar Aguilar, has been "scorned" twice by the judges. "I don't know if I'll try again next year," advised Aguilar, in an after pageant interview. "Third time may be the charm, or I may just take my talent somewhere else! I really haven't decided, yet!"

The redeeming factor of the entire night was that the Veteran's Memorial Committee raised over $ 4,000.00 for the memorial, to be located on the downtown square, in Sulphur Springs!

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